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 Today-should I lie to my kids? ><

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RATTISSIA
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PostSubject: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 3:12 am

First off please excuse me if I ramble a little here..

Today started like any other Wednesday except I was planning a big day out with my kids. I picked them up from school and we went to a nature center, shopping then to a very nice Japanese restaurant. My oldest lost her second canine tooth so was very excited to be tucked in bed. As I got up after tucking them in I saw lights outside by the train tracks. Well my parents own the properties here and I was wondering what was going on because I saw a line of police cars in the parking lot. Apparently I said "what the f***" because my kids came over to see too. I told them to stay inside and that I was going to go find out who was outside.

Well it appears that someone decided to commit suicide by jumping in front of the train right outside my house..well not right outside about 40 feet north of it. I go back inside and my youngest is crying asking what happened. I told her that there was something on the tracks that they were clearing off so that the train could be safe while it was riding on it. She asked me what it was and I told her not to worry about it because sometimes things go on tracks that they have to clean off. It's not that I was trying to lie to her or pass off the incident as nothing important. I just dont want to tell her what happened-they're both so young and this would likely rob them of their childhood. Not to mention countless nights of night mares if they knew that it was, in fact, a body they had seen. When I told them not to worry about what it was and that it was an adult topic. I dont know if they're going to hear anything at school..I dont know if they're going to sit there and press me about it-and if I do what do I say? I don't want to lie to them but I certainally dont want to tell them either. Now they're in bed..and I'm here writing this. I'm having to stay up for a while to make sure that the tooth fairy can come but all the mean time I almost dread going to sleep. I did not know the guy who did it and dont actively feel his presence at the moment but the things I saw even without having the abilities that I do are ones that haunt people in their dreams. I realize stuff like this does happen. Death is a part of life. However tragic death always leaves a void. I am also a bit worried he'll try to talk to me in my dreams to get me to relay some message or whatever. I know that sounds horrible-I would be happy to help sort things out more if my kids weren't at home at the moment. However where we're all a little freaked out (him included-I'm sure his feelings are very extreme at the moment) I'd almost like to handle something like this after some time has gone by. I hope that doesnt make me sound like I'm horrible for thinking that. I do have a very active energy force around my house with the rule of nothing with bad intentions can come in so at least if he's pissed he cant enter in until he's not mad. However, confusion is not considered a bad intention. So I really don't know. I hope he's off taking some time to sort out what happened for himself. He needs that right now.

I have a quiz tomorrow and a lab. I just hope I can concentrate on doing my schooling to get it done properly. I feel guilty for even thinking that though. But theres not exactly anything I could have done to prevent any of this. I'd not be tied in at all to it if it wasn't for location. Ugh...I dunno. I'll stop rambling now...
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:56 am

Oh my. How horrible. I would not tell the girls. I would not have told my boys. They would cry if they saw a dead animal on the road. If the incident is upsetting you this much -think of the harm it could do to them. Just don't bring it up. If they ask about it directly, then I would tell them a semi truth - the man fell or something to that effect. Children are so remarkable - they soon forget upsetting things. I know the questions they can ask can be profound, too. This one you'll have to play by ear, I think.

Yes, death is a part of life, but little children should not have to deal with the suicide of a perfect stranger. And no, you should not feel guilty in the least because you have a life to live. I don't blame you a bit for not wanting the contact while the man is still dealing with his action. You can hold him at bay , can't you -tell him to wait a bit before he talks to you? Maybe he won't try at all. What a horrific way to end your fun day. After the shock wears off, you will be just fine. Trust your instincts.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 12:50 pm

This morning I called and spoke with the school while my kids were still asleep. Another parent had already called as they live in our apartments and her kids saw it too. I knew that they'd be talking about it at school so I explained to them it was a person and that it was suicide. We spoke for a bit but death isnt a new subject in our house-every time a fish died I took it as a opportunity to explain that death happens as much as birth does n what not. I told them after we talked that we were going to go in to talk to the counselor at their school so if they wanted to talk they could. They said they didnt want to talk and that they didnt even have bad dreams last night. The only thing they seemed confused about was why he did it. Which is the lingering question for everyone. I said sometimes people just think that what is going on is unbearable and that they can't deal with it. But regardless of what it was that there is always solutions to make situations turn better than they were and that suicide is never the answer. I said he might have also been on drugs and that drugs do horrible things sometimes to your thoughts that wouldn't happen if you weren't on drugs. I dont know if he was or wasnt on drugs-to be honest it doesnt really matter. But it was one reason that I knew my girls would be able to understand more as to why he might have done it.

As for the contacting..he did come by last night. I had a lot of my normal spirits around me. I felt them touching my back to let me know they were here watching out for me. However, I did see the guy as I was in bed tossing and turning. I felt something at the end of my bed so out of instinct I looked. He was there as a shadow figure. I couldn't see features just how tall he was and his profile. The shadow wasnt because he was bad or evil or anything. It's because he was still processing everything. I told him that he needed to go be around people that loved him right now and to take some time to process everything. And that he could talk to me or whatever later after he's had some time to process when my kids were not home. I then turned over in bed and tried to sleep. I eventually started to doze off until something was thrown at my face, not anything hard or big-it didn't hurt me but enough that i flinched at it. After that I said go figure out whats going on and come back later when my kids aren't here.

Once I fell asleep I kept having dreams of things scattering or shattering. Like dropping pots of food or bags of groceries. Nothing directly related image wise but the message the same. I dont know if it was due to him trying to talk to me still or if it was because of the things I saw outside...either way I'm really hoping that my quiz today on momentum has nothing to do with trains. I really dont want to start crying in class.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 1:22 pm

I have communicated with many spirits who in life took their own life. I found them to be very remorseful for having chosen that as a way out of problem they felt unbearable. If you do not wish to talk with him at this time I understand, next time he comes tell him to go to the light as you do not want contact with him.

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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 5:41 pm

I dont mind talking to him overall. I just didnt want to last night. I would prefer also to do it when the kids arent home as my oldest can see spirits and his confusion might frighten her.

I didnt feel a bad energy around him just one of a confusion as to what to do next. That's partly why I told him to go and be around the people he loved and to try to make sense of it all first.

My view of the light is different than most peoples I guess. I dont view the light as a location and one you dont come back from but rather as a state of happiness and peace. I dont view spirits who still interact with humans as not having reached "the light" as I think that the ones who have it can still interact and relocate at will.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Sep 29, 2011 6:15 pm

RATTISSIA wrote:
I

My view of the light is different than most peoples I guess. I dont view the light as a location and one you dont come back from but rather as a state of happiness and peace. I dont view spirits who still interact with humans as not having reached "the light" as I think that the ones who have it can still interact and relocate at will.

I too believe that even when a spirit has crossed over into the light they still can return to interact with us. I view the light as a pathway to peace, and not a certain location such as heaven
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:27 pm

Hey Rattissia. Just checking in with ya. Have things settled down for you ? I hope your girls handled the incident alright.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:58 pm

After that night I didn't see him again. I did see an other spirit walk behind my professor during a physics class the next day (last Thursday). It was a bit hard not to watch the other spirit where sometimes they're more amusing than the lecture! Lol. I like the class though so it was ok. Smile

My girls handled it as well as can be expected. They talk about it some but less and less. It was hard for my youngest to sleep the 2nd night after she found out so I let her sleep in my bed with me.

I will admit it was a bit hard for me to go and throw away my trash Monday night (Tuesday is garbage collection day). His body landed about 10 feet away from the dumpster and there was still Do not cross police line in there. Not because I'm afraid of death (obviously) but just because the emotions of everyone (the police, people witnessing the clean up, etc) were still so strong. I had actually avoided throwing out the trash for several days due to that. Well as I finally decided to go out to do it I was relieved to find that mother nature had heard my distress signals and actually started to make it drizzle. Rain is very cleansing and it helped take away not only some of the little remnants of the accident (such as displaced small rocks n what not) but it helps to cleanse away energies that arent held there for a purpose. I don't feel the guys energy there so that's good. I guess that I might have sent out too strong of distress signals though because now, 3 days later, it's still raining. Sheets of rain at times. Lol oh well. I also noticed that the neighborhood cat that comes around to be fed came right as I was heading down towards the parking lot. Usually it just waits for me by the door if I'm anywhere but coming out of the door but this time it came running down towards me and followed me all the way over and back. Unusual timing and behavior for this animal but both of which I was grateful for. I knew it saw something over there too because the cat stopped walking mid step when it looked where the accident was but I told the cat it'd be ok and that the energies would be gone soon.

I found out that I did kind of know the guy-he was the bf of one of my tenants daughters. I had actually spoken to he and the daughter 2 days before and had given them some baked goodies from my children's carnival on Monday. I guess that's another reason why he came to see me after. Kind of a hey! I know her and she can still see me.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Sun Oct 09, 2011 12:58 pm

Well, I'm glad that things have gotten a little easier for you. It's good that the girls are not too bothered by the whole thing. I would think that even looking out the window at the site would be difficult, but life has to go on. I wish it had not happened to you.. Crying or Very sad
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Sun Oct 09, 2011 2:15 pm

The girls have had a lot of talk about death so it didn't seem to bother them too much. The youngest had a few days where it was hard for her to sleep but we'd just talk about it and she'd be ok.

All in all it seems to be calming down now. The energies were washed away pretty much from this storm. It lasted from Monday night right as I was taking out the trash all through Friday morning.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:23 pm

ok i did not read all the responses yet but i read the issue posted. i will tell you what i think but it is only my humble opnion it is not meant to offend or berate anyone for anything. i am not attempting to judge the situation.

first off the guy who jumped in front of the train may or may not have already crossed over and if he did not cross over he will likely haunt the location and the near locations so possibly your house yes. he may or may not remember what he did and that he is dead. you may need to help him remember and cross him over. that will leave him in peace to rest and your house at peace as well.

i would suggest being truthful with your children on their own level. meaning that you should tell them what he did but in such a way that it will not horrify them, based ont heir age of understanding. the reason is because they very well could hear about it at school or from other people and wonder why you lied to them. they may even see his ghost and be scared by it or confused if it tries to talk to them about what he did. also, i understand you not wanting to kill their innocence but in all honesty there is nothing wrong with death. it is a force of life and nature for whatever reason it is necessary part of the cycle of things and therefore even children need to understand it on their opwn level. it used to be that children were all too familiar with the concept of death as modern medicine sis not used to exist and warfare was more rampant than now with bandits and vikings plumeting and burnign villages, disease ravaging livestock and weather killin crops leading to starvation and plagues...it is only in recent hoistory that children have reached a place of enough comfort and safety to be shielded from the truth of the cycle of life, the unpleasant things about life but iun this do we really do them a service? hiding from them the truth of things are we really helping them to understand and to grow? yes perhaps you may percieve this as killing their innocence, but really it depends i believe on how the matter ios handled and how it is explained to them more so than the topic itself.
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PostSubject: Re: Today-should I lie to my kids? ><   Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:25 pm

Ussula I appreciate your response. I didnt get back to you right away as this week was finals week. I also had done some of the things you had mentioned already Smile

The guy that died hasn't been around since the night it happened. Well, either that or not around here long enough to have me notice him. Wednesday morning the guys girlfriend was sitting in her car by the fence of where they found him. I felt so bad for her. She also worried me a bit. I didn't know it was her and since I'm the apartment manager I went to see who it was. When I spoke with her I noticed her words were slurring a little. I asked if she had been drinking and she immediately perked up a little and said no. I just said ok I just wanted to make sure you were ok and weren't going to drive if you have been drinking. I kept a bit of an eye on her for a little while-I was worried she was going to try to go up on the tracks. After about 3 hours she left though so I was glad that she didn't do anything drastic.

It was really hard for me not to tell her what I had experienced that night and also to tell her I hadn't noticed him around since that night either. However, I don't know if it would have made it any better. That and where I'm the apartment manager I don't think I should have said anything from a business stand point (she was living here when he died and has since moved out). I think it might have helped for her to know that he wasnt actually here spiritually but I'm not sure it'd have helped with her grieving.
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